i'm scared

i'm scared that i am not going to be able to take life much longer and that i am going to have to go back to my doctor and ask to go on anti-depressants again. i really don't want to but i am scared!

Twilight

i loved this movie. Ok it is not a great cinematic masterpiece but it has all the necessary elements of a romantic movie, love, passion, danger, and of course a gorgeous hero! i know this film isn't for everyone, the plot is no surprise and the script isn't incredible, but as far as a bit of good old teenage wish fulfillment it is top notch!!

a brilliant way to waste time.

if you are bored i promise that you will find something that will entertain you here

www.oneplusyou.com/q

if you're wondering i can take 12 five year olds in a fight!

Why haven't i grown out of teen angst!

i am 21 years old, so why am i still going through all this teenage crap, should i be over the depression, feeling lonely and the identity crisis. its just not fair!! i need to grow up. someone tell me how!!

low dose dexamethasone suppression test

This complexly named test i am doing over these 48 hours is not hard, it involves peeing into a jug and taking a pill every six hours. though it isn't hard and i don't have anyone watching me it is still completely humiliating!!!! it also means i can't leave the house for too long incase i need to pee which is rather inconvenient, not to mention dull. 

This is also a little worrying considering if this test comes back positive my doctor hasn't explained to me what happens, so i am guessing its not great. so fingers crossed i am absolutely fine, so if you have them spare cross your fingers for me!!

Back to london Again!!!

hey everybody.

i have just got off the phone with my doctor and have to go to london and have more sodding tests! i am so fed up with this i swear it is gonna make my eyeballs bleed.  i hate that because i still live at home i have to tell every single member of my family what is wrong with me. as if I even know. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Stresss. cry. Scream. 

conflicting nature

i generally like to think of myself as a person with conviction, a person who believes in certain things. Homophobia is wrong. racism is bad. sexism is bad. charity is good. etc etc. 

but when i say sexism is bad i feel like i am being a hypocrite because i am so sexist. men are better, i feel like a traitor to my sex as i say this. they are stronger, more focused, and make for better friends (less bitchy) and if i was having someone operate on me or fly me in a plane i would want it to be a man. Those women that would disagree with me maybe right but when it comes to their romantic life i know they would agree with me that they want their man to be the strong one in the relationship and especially in bed. obviously that is not universal but i would say it applies to the majority of straight women. 

please don't take these statements to mean that i am destined to become a housewife wiping snot from the noses of my 12 children because that is not what i want. i want to be independent, earn my own money and rely on no one. except i desperately want to be able to rely on someone and have them want to look after me. i am deeply conflicted by that need to be taken care of and the idea that that is pathetic. its the conflict between animal makeup and social convention. 

am i a seriously confused or just normal?

christmas is coming the goose is getting fat.

Christmas is on its way and i have done like no shopping. i have ordered my sisters presents but  nothing has arrived yet and i have no ideas for anybody else. i am not good at buying people presents though i love to do it but only when i have that rare flash of genius and think "that is exactly what they would love" i hate buying people presents when i have just given them the only thing i could find even though i know they probably wouldn't like it. 

what are you getting your loved ones for christmas?

last night

Had such a good evening last night! hit the vodka a little hard and a little early so didn't make it till the end of the party but that was probably for the best! had a a great time but sleeping on a chaise next to a couple in a double bed is a little uncomfortable especially when you go and have a shower and come back into the room without any warning! lol 

P A R T Why? because sometimes friends do come through for you!

so eventually i got hold of my friends and i am going out tonight. we are having a wig and face-paint party so i am embracing my inner flower child! though i am just sitting around for another half an hour before i have to get the train to go have dinner with my best friends and her boyfriend before the party. should be a fun evening but right now i am so bored. i want to goooo! 

i am such a whiner! but i am ready i have my bottle of vodka, my present for the birthday girl  so i am all set.

the one down side to the evening i am spending the night in a hotel with my best friend and her boyfriend! can we all say third wheel! and it is a lot more complicated than that but it is more than my life is worth to explain the details here. but hey as long as we all drink enough alcohol is should be a pretty good night!!!

enjoy your saturday nights!!xx

Friends?

recently i posted a comment on  a web blog that i subscribe to written by Davey Wavey, and he asked the veiwers/readers on his blog what they are thankful for, i said that i was thankful for my friends. Most of the time this is true my friends keep me sane and away from the edge of the cliff. but sometimes like now, i can't get hold of a single one, its probably not their fault they have their own things going on but it doesn't make me feel any better about it! 

anyway i have to go and find out how to get to a pub to have lunch with my  overly critical father and my crazy grandmother. wish me luck. 

Smoking

i don't understand smoking. i don't like but i understand drugs, they make you feel good but smoking is just disgusting it doesn't taste good, it dyes your teeth and fingers. and oh yeah IT KILLS PEOPLE, and not just you but anyone else who happens to be around, like your kids.

what is wrong with people?

Adams apples

How do you feel about them? is it creepy when they are overly prominent? or do you think it is kinda sexy? 

high heels

why does it have to be in fashion to wear incredibly high heels? does no one have any feeling for my feet? i am sticking to flats. My summer ball this year i went in flip-flops, everyone thought i was nuts but within an hour i had never had so many people be jealous of me!

Boyzone

Does anyone else think that boyzone are just a little to old now! i mean don't get me wrong the youth impaired can still be great musicians, perhaps with the exception of Elton John (sorry i just don't like him). but Boyzone trying to remain a boyband when they are clearly men is ridiculous. 

sorry feeling rather cynical tonight, and craving crispy beef really badly though the chance of me getting any are zip. 

unfair!

Why is it that it is a given that straight men think lesbians are hot, yet a straight woman who thinks gay guys are hot is weird? i know that i am not alone in the world, thinking that gay guys are hot together, but the only place other women will admit this is online (i mean just look at the percentage of female slash fiction writers). i have never met another woman in real life that is willing to admit that. Why is this? Is it because it is only socially acceptable for men to have sexual fantasies?but for a woman to openly admit that she has a sex drive and sexual fantasies or god forbid a kink is abnormal or a slut. 

Talk about gender inequality!!

Things that creep me out

Here is a list of things that freak me out. (not definitive) 

1. People who are overly positive

2. People with thin lips

3. The consistency of potatoes 

4. People who like Brussels sprouts

5. People with an unhealthy amount of conviction.

6. Napoleon Dynamite

7. Natural blondes

8. My parents

What makes your skin crawl?

Quantum of Solace

Went to see the new Bond film today and while i enjoyed it at the time as soon as it was done i realized that i was seriously unsatisfied by the plot. the characters and their motivations were rarely clear. This Bond has completely lost the sense of humor present in all its predecessors, though i appreciated the attempt to take things a bit more seriously in Casino Royal but Quantum of Solace just took the gravitas a step too far. i felt that this film was slightly too angst ridden and that the plot was merely a flimsy way to link one fight scene to the next chase scene. though i am being incredibly harsh this should not over shadow that i did enjoy the film as a spectacle. 

Confused!

edited for an epiphany

High School Musical 3

on Monday afternoon i went with my brother and my next door neighbours (3boys)  to see High School Musical 3 and as excited as i was thats how disappointed i became. the music was not nearly up to the standard of the pervious two films, if you can call catchy a standard. i think the kids enjoyed it though perhaps there were too many romantic duets for their liking but i think they still had fun. for me the only reason to stay was to see Zac Efron topless, i am not sure how old he is but i am pretty sure he is old enough not to make me a pervert! if your children and 13 and under and girls i would absolutely take them, but if they are boys i would only take them if they are big fans of the first two and you can't get out of it!

Burn after Reading

Today, under an enormous rain cloud i went to see Burn After Reading, the new Coen brothers film. i had read good reviews and was greatly looking forward to it yet i didn't enjoy it. i couldn't even really tell you why, i just know my mind kept wondering off and when it came back i realised i hadn't missed anything. There were no surprises and the plot was so coen brothers-esque that i felt like i had already seen it. i may be being a little harsh but when i went to the cinema to day i was hoping for a bit of escapism and entertainment and found very little of either. 

End of Work Experience and City of Ember

finally finished my work experience which i actually rather enjoyed. i didn't write much about it cause last week i have serious issues with my  family. one shouting match after another. so on Friday i decided to take some down time and i went to the cinema and out to dinner and then had a couple of drink with some friends. it was a good time :) friends are great aren't they. 

we went to see City of Ember, though essentially its a children's film i decided to go cause i wanted something light hearted with a happy ending and that's exactly what i got with the bonus of being able to stare at Harry Treadaway for over an hour. that said i don't think i would recommend it to anyone over the age of 14. but only because the plot is not sophisticated enough i would give it excellent scores for acting and production design and pretty much every other aspect. 

Day 4

its Day 4 and i have finished early, they have had barely anything for me to do at work all day, they even sent me out to by dishwasher tablets. But other than the staggering lack of things to do i have rather enjoyed the day not least because i asked yesterday it i could wear jeans today thus i am a lot more comfortable. Tonight i am going to the cinema to see Taken with my sister, so i will write a review of that tomorrow, and next week we plan to go and see Brideshead Revisited. i am really looking forward to it but i saw one of the papers today had only given it two stars. oh well i am gonna see it anyway.
toodles for now
xx

So i went to see Taken. and oh my god do i feel like i wasted my night. the effects and the violence were pretty impressive but the story line was as predictable as is was generic. every cheesy and cliched moment you can imagine was there plus a lot of unnecessary violence. i wouldn't recommend it to anyone. at all.

At Work. Day 3

The days are getting better though i am doing the same kind of mind numbing things all day i am doing different tasks so i am at least getting a bit of variation into my day, though most of them involve mailing and photocopying. its my lunch break at the moment so i have lots more to do today including 70 mail outs to compile and send for the publicity department.  

So long suckers!

xx

Work Experience. Day one. Today was the beginning of what I can already tell will be two weeks in hell. I am really hoping that today will not be setting the standard for the next two weeks. I spent about 6 hours today wrapping books into parcels and sending the out. I know that work experience is supposed to be closer to servitude but doesn't make is any better. On the other hand I would be terrified if anyone gave me any more responsibility than licking a stamp. On the plus side everyone who works there seems to be very nice and the atmosphere is quite relaxed.
Going to bed now even though I am not tired, I need to hide in my room just so I don't have to watch my dad watch the news and look even more depressed than he already is.
Here's hoping tomorrow doesn't involve wrapping!
good night
xx

Work Experience

Tomorrow I start work experience for a Publishing company. I am very much looking forward to it but I am also worried as my sister kindly arranged it for me that I am petrified that I will do something to make her look bad. However I am assured that everyone is very nice and I have nothing to worry about. so for the next two week i shall do very little but sleep and work though I am rather hoping to go and see the new film Taken, for some reason I am a sucker for hostage/kidknap movies and this one has had particularly good reviews. I am looking forward to quite a few movies that are coming out soon;
City of Ember, but only cause it stars one the the Treadaway twins and I love them.
Brideshead Revisited, have read mixed reports but am still excited.
High School the Musical 3, shameful I know.
anyway better get to bed, bright and early start in the morning.
wish me luck
xx

going home tomorrow

tomorrow i have to go back to my dad's house for about three weeks. i am dreading it, i was just starting to get some semblance of a routine in my life and now i have to go back to the one person who fucked me up the most. i am tempted to say its not his fault, but it kinda is if he hadn't completely destroyed my trust in men i might be in a relationship by now and according to my crazy doctor, a relationship is the only thing that is gonna make me feel better. i kid you not my doctor told me that i had to find a man and settle down because that is the natural way of things i am going to change doctor as soon as humanly possible. Anyway if i decide to stay with my mum permanently i will have to switch anyway. i haven't cried in so long and now just the idea of going back to my dads kills me, and i feel even worse for feeling like that. i would ask my sister for help but it seems she is falling apart just as much as me. anyway i just have to take a deep breath and get over it cause what else can i do?

Christopher Paolini - Brisingr

Yesterday the third book of Christopher Paolini's Inheritance trilogy went on sale in England.

I had pre-ordered this book weeks in advance and had been excitedly anticipating it since the 15th of July, when I heard it was finally on its way. My mother gave the first in the series about five years ago and I have been in love with the characters and the world they inhabit ever since. When my mother gave me this book I was going through a particular sci/fi and fantasy stage when it came to books and though I have long since grown out of it I am still enchanted by this series. I have not yet finished the book (cause hey its only been a day and i do have to sleep eat and bathe myself and this book is well over 700 pages) but so far I have truly enjoyed it. I love the fabulous mix of politics, adventure, mystery and romance. The book is a wonderful mix of the poetry and adventure of Lord of the Rings and the teenage journey of Harry Potter, though significantly better than the latter and I pray that Brisingr will also have and a far superior and less vomit inducing ending (i'll let you know how that turns out). 

I would whole-heartedly recommend these books to anyone whatever the age group however depending of the level of maturity of your children, for those particularly sacred of blood, violence and monsters i would recommend you wait a few years! before you subject them to impaled babies and ritual blood lettings! do not be fooled by the appearance of this book in the childrens sections IT IS VIOLENT. 

P.s if you saw the film Eragon (the title of the first in the series) do not be put off, as so often happens the film did  not do justice to the original material!

hungover

I haven't been hungover in a while, i haven't had any alcohol at all to drink for about a month until last night. Now i am tempted to never drink again. I don't even know why i drank at all i am not a person that needs to get drunk to have fun in fact i am like a mushroom that picks up flavour, if i am around drunk people i feel like i am drunk too. but last night i was meeting new people and i get shy so i thought it would go easier after a couple of Vodkas and it did i had a nice time. The highlight of the evening was definitely a hilarious rendition of Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 by one of the guys i was with. The thing that made my hangover worse than usual was that people were smoking around me and i hate that, and also i slept and a friends house and i slept really badly and slept for only about 3 hours so today i basically wasted the day trying to sleep once i got home, and i am still tired hopefully i will sleep well tonight. i also forgot to take my pills last night which was probably why is didn't sleep so well.

anyway, in summation DON"T DRINK it never ends well.

Spud

I just finished reading Spud, a book by John Van de Ruit. It isn't the kind of book i usually read, actually it is exactly the type of book i usually read, except this one is aimed at people a little bit younger than myself. The reason I decided to read it anyway is because it was in the "we recommend" section in Waterstones, i often pick my books from there as who better to take a recommendation from than people who love book (and i assume that if you work at waterstones you like to read).

The book is about a young boy John Milton (Spud) who lives in southafrica in the 1980/90s and has just won a scholarship to a boarding school there. The book covers his first years at school, where he meets his fabulously weird friends and teachers and also chronicles his surprisingly hectic love life. I really enjoyed this book it was funny (contains the best "your mum" joke i have ever read) and i even got a little teary at the end. i deeply recommend this book to anyone young or old and especially if you went to boarding school. I enjoyed it so much I have already pre-ordered the sequel. 

The Duchess

Yesterday i went to see The Duchess, starring Keira Knightly and Ralph Finnes. Keira's performance was worthy of all the great things that i had read about it. The film is undeniably depressing but nevertheless enjoyable. Keira's performance however was the only one that i found compelling. Though the others were good they were nothing in comparison. Though the historical inaccuracies of this film have been pointed out to me i don't really care and don't have much time for those who do. when i watch a film i care about the characters, and acting and the story, this is not to say that i don't appreciate beautiful sets and cinematography,  but i am not going to give a flying @£%& if her wig is historically accurate. that said if those are the details you are worrying about you probably aren't enjoying the film that much in the first place. 

Finding a job

Finding a job is demoralizing! i don't hold out much hope for getting one especially as i have work experience that i am obligated to do for two weeks in less than a month. so i am supposed to turn up for an interview and say, i would love to have the job but in a couple of weeks i need two weeks off.  i better get ready to go out now and find some local newspapers and begin the job hunt. again! 

and again

i have once more lost inspiration for my book, i just don't know where it is going or how to stop it sounding like a mixture of every book i have ever read. very frustrating. i don't want to give up. if i can do this and get it published this is one job where it is almost expected that you be reclusive.

I don't feel like people today

Today has been a really nice day, weather wise anyway. i thought i was having a really nice day sunbathing and reading my book and i had a really nice lunch as well. at about 4:30 our friends W and J came round and i just wanted them to go away! i love them they are fabulous people but as soon as they arrived i couldn't wait for them to leave. it's been awhile since i have felt like that and i don't particularly want to turn into a recluse like my mother. i think it is subconscious, that i know i am coming off my medication and i am beginning to feel worse just because i know it is going to happen. i'll do my best not to let that happen. I am going to watch a really trashy movie now, i knew it would be bad when i bought it but it has Hayden Christensen in it and i thought it might be fun. anyway watching films always makes be feel better. 

see ya 

xx

Star Wars - The Clone Wars among other things

My Father, Step mother and Brother have all arrived back from their holidays last night and already I can hardly stand to be here and this is through no fault of theirs which makes me feel terrible. Anyway. Usually my favourite part of my sisterly duties is taking my lil bro to the cinema and today I took him to see Star Wars - the clone wars, George Lucas's new attempt to make even more money by lowering the age of his fan base. I am not really sure whether I enjoyed this film. I definitely wasn't bored but I was hardly stimulated either, I don't know whether or not it is fair to expect and a digital animation aimed at children to stimulate the mind of a 21 year old but what can I say I have high expectations. My lil brother definitely enjoyed it so I guess you can say it does the job of keeping children amused for over an hour and for this I commend them as I find amusing my brother for this amount of time immensely difficult.

I feel I have been in London for Far too long now and I can't wait to return to Dorset which I will do latter this week. I would get out of this hole sooner but I haven't managed to come up with a good enough excuse and my dad doesn't want me to go cause he think I will be to isolated! How isolated does he think I feel now living with people I find it hard to tolerate. Though I find it hard to tolerate my mother at times her company is infinitely superior to almost everyone else I know. I feel a Gilmore Girls comparison coming on but I shall suppress it, however I think i may go and watch and episode as series 6 arrived today.

catch (anyone who may ever read this) later
xx

Wall-e

Today, with very little coercing but coercing none the less, i went to see Wall-e with my friend Matt. barring parents we were the oldest people there by about 13 yrs but that in no way impeded our enjoyment of the film minus some choice screaming from the kids in the second row. The film while not overly long was long enough. the first 30 minutes have virtually no talking and while that is a sometime a fine tactic (see There Will Be Blood) for in this i was bored, though my boredom was quelled somewhat but the appearance of a song from the musical Hello Dolly. Hello Dolly is one of the first films i ever watched and have always loved it so unfortuately for Wall-e i spent the next hour or so wishing i was watching Hello Dolly instead. The Plot of Wall-e is tolerable and has its funny moments but it is hardly built to compete with other films i have seen lately aimed at children Narnia and even Space Chimps provided me with more stimulating viewing.

Now to reveal one of my deepest of shames.... I love High School the Musical!!
this is truly shocking to anyone who knows me. but there we are i admit my flaws freely. today in the Previews before Wall-e i saw the trailer for the third movie, i cannot wait to see it!!!

The Dark Knight

I decided to write a blog to just blab on about my day and how i am feeling and it occurred to me that i am not feeling anything. i have no feelings at all about my day, it wasn't boring, it wasn't fun, it was tiring and wasn't interesting in any way shape or form.

So lets leave aside those morbid thoughts and move on to the film i went to see yesterday, The Dark Knight. After all the hype i had HIGH expectations and i am sure that the film would have met them had i not spent so much time worrying about the boy in front of me. He must have been about ten years old. This film (in my opinion) was not appropriate for a 10 year old! Heath ledgers Joker though undeniably brilliant and chilling was very unsettling. his enjoyment of chaos and violence is not a motive I have not seen since the clockwork orange. These days we seem to prefer our villains to have an obvious motive, almost invariably money or revenge. The Joker's unpredictable and difficult to understand and is a character without empathy. This film is absolutely worth a look but its 12 rating is a joke (pardon the pun) no one under the age of 15 should watch this film. a higher rating has been avoided with a lack of nudity and swearing is minimal but it is the mental assault, the themes in this film are ones that children shouldn't be and don't need to be familiar with.

Blissful!

The weather the last couple of days has been nothing short of Blissful. The only problem is i can't handle the heat i can spend about 30mins in the sun before i have to go inside to cool down. Despite the beautiful weather i am praying for it to rain as that is the only way i can not feel guilty about going to the cinema, and i am desperate to go and see the new Batman movie.  so fingers crossed that the rain will come streaming from the heavens in the morning. 

Summer

Well is seems that summer might actually show up after all. down where i am at the moment in Dorset the sun is shining though the wind is blowing so i am not getting too hot which is greatly appreciated.  Though i enjoy the sunshine and the warmth i am not enjoying the remoteness of my surroundings, there is very little to do around here and though my mother lives here i haven't spent a prolonged period of time here in years. Therefore i have no friends, so though now i can drive and go places, i have no one to go with except my mother!! that is rather sad i feel, only topped by the fact that i have taken up knitting!!! Lord Save Me!!!

 

i am now a Graduand!

NO i have not made a spelling error. Today in my graduation ceremony i learned that us graduates get refered to as graduands. Weird! i now have a BA in Classical  Studies!  So, Yeah i graduated today and i have come down to stay with my mum for ten or so days. I just had a real heart to heart with my mum and my sister about how stressed out i am feeling, there were tears and it was generally terrible but at least that is over with now. Tomorrow i will drive my car for the first time since i passed my test. i am so excited!!

Moving

Is there anything more hectic than moving house!!

well try doing it three times a year since you were 11. I went to boarding school at 11 and ever since then I have had to move to and from school and to and form each parent at the respective sides of the country three times a year since then. You'd think that I would have it down by now but I never seem to learn. My mother is due in about an hour to pack all the thing into the car before I leave uni for her house tomorrow. She is going to scream. There is nothing I can do about it. no matter how much I try there will be something wrong and she will shout and scream. I probably sound ungrateful but trust me when i say "you don't know my mother". The woman is truly mental. OH well c'est la vie. better get back to it.  But before i do anything more constructive I have to pull this pore-strip off my nose. OUCH!!!

Passed My Test!!

I have passed my driving test! I'm so excited, i can finally drive the car that my mum so kindly bought for me (its a ford fiesta called George). It seems however that despite me having passed my family still seem to be a bit nervous about getting in the car with me! oh well screw them! i am so excited and i just can't hide it!

Being Made to like Music I Hate

I recently have been experiencing a new phenomenon of having songs i HATE (for example, A piece of me - Britney Spears) drummed into my head so much that i start to LIKE them. As a result i now have songs on my itunes that i would never have had a year ago. previously my tastes were strictly limited to folk and indie music, but now to my horror Artists like Estelle, Britney have made there way into my recently played list i am distraught! but on the other hand a more varied taste in music shouldn't really be considered a bad thing.

Mobile Phones

In my experience mobile phones bring nothing but trouble. My phone at the moment has decided not to work. I am a student and currently live in a student house, i have no land line and so now apart from e-mail i am cut off from the world which is incredibly annoying as i have my driving test tomorrow and no means by which to contact my instructor!!

Anyway mobiles just deciding not to work on a whim is one of the many reasons that i think that they are a horrible invention. For one you are always in touch with the world, there is nowhere to hide from nagging parents or step-parents. For another the drunken and ill advised phone call was far less common before the proliferation of mobile phones, it was not possible to just stumble out of a club at 2 in the morning and wake up some unsuspecting person with loud and slurred declarations of love. Before mobile phones there was also very little chance of a text message going astray and coming to the attention of the wrong person.

However though i maintain that these arguments are solid i still wouldn't be without mine, except for at this current moment is time when it doesn't fucking work!!

Inspiration

I am feeling very uninspired over the last few months. I need a muse. Why are muses things that are never mentioned any more? did they go out of style with the cravat? Artists, writers and musicians are now all too eager to take all the credit and not even acknowledge those who inspired them.  As a single woman what i want more than anything in a partner is someone who will inspire me. 

I love to write i do it all the time, on the train, in a restaurant a handy napkin is quite likely to be scarred with my thoughts. I have been working on a book for almost a year now and i am getting nowhere because i seem to have lost my inspiration. I need some form of inspiration to get things moving again because i refuse to leave this project unfinished like everything else in my life. 

Anyone got any tips for removing writers block?

5th post

I started this blog just over an hour ago and i am already on my 5th posting, i think it is fair to say that i won't continue to post so often but for the moment it is a nice novelty to be able to babble on about whatever i want. 

What i want to rant about now is the lack of decent television programs! the best program i have watched in recent years was Studio 60 on the sunset strip, yet this was cancelled after its first season for reasons that are incomprehensible to me. the only failing of the program as far as i can see was the slightly too neat ending to the series. However this can be attributed to the writers need to wrap up the story because they were going to be cancelled. 

It depresses me greatly that the proliferation of reality TV programs is due to their popularity with viewers. it seems to me that the reason that more intelligent and witty programing is not made is because reality tv shows are cheaper to make and therefore more profitable than those that don't kill brain cells

Are there any programs you would recommend to prove me wrong?

Shantaram

I recently went on holiday to Corfu with the three other students that i live with. I get on well with all the girls but this holiday was definitely not my idea. We were staying in a place called Kavos which is a soul destroying place for the following reasons. The only reason that i agreed to go to Corfu was because i was a big fan of the book My Family and Other Animals written by Gerald Durrell, so you can imagine my dismay when we arrive in Kavos to find that all there is in this tiny town is clubs and restaurants and horribly cheesy gift shops and the crowning glory was the McDonalds on the main strip.  

so having experienced such disappointment with my surroundings i was delighted when i began to read the book that i had bought with me for some pool side reading. Shantaram  is a fantastic book, i could barely put it down the whole holiday, it was the first time i have read a book and been pleased that it was over 900 pages long.  The story was exciting and the characters were lovable and i was still reading it on the plane home. Now i am hoping that someone can explain to me why i haven't had the slightest inclination to pick it up and finish it since i touched back down in England. Sadly the most plausible option i can come up with was that once i was back in front of my computer and television i simply have more interesting things to do. 

Despite not having finished the book yet i still cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone, so please go out and buy it and thank me when you enjoy it and recommend it to all your friends.

Getting me down

What is getting me down right now is the awkwardness of this time in my life. i have just graduated from university and while i have been studying i have been living away from home and i am very used to my independence, especially as before this i was at boarding school. Now i am about to move back into a house with my father (who i don't have the best of relationships with) my step-mother (even worse) and my half-brother who i love to pieces but at 10 years old you can imagine he is a little trying. For the past three years i have been able to eat, sleep and go out when i like and now i am having to go back to answering for my movements every minute of the goddamned day. I don't know how i am going to cope!!

Things that get to me!!

In an attempt to limit the bitter ranting that i feel is inherent to many blogs, i am going to start of with a list of things that really really get to me.

1. People that stop in the middle of the street with no warning.

2. People who use the word gay to describe something as uncool.

3. Reality television.

4. Spongebob squarepants. WHY!!!!

5. People who talk at the theatre.

6. Drivers who don't indicate.

7. Bad TV.  eg. Deal or no deal, big brother, i am a celebrity get me out of here, jerry springer.

8. people who claim to have strong convictions but no good reasons for holding them. If you have an opinion you should bloody well know why.

I will amend this list as and when i feel sufficiently irate. Please feel free to suggest additions.

My First

This is the first time a have ever written a blog, and though i have posted things on the internet before (poetry unfortunately) i have never posted anything where i have completely free reign to say whatever i want. 

Now that i have the oppotunity to say whatever i wish my mind is completely blank. Hopefully soon i will remember why i wanted to write a blog in the first place and wow anyone who may read this blog with the sheer number of things a single person can find to rant about. Once those run out i will turn to subjects perhaps more worthy of discussion.