going home tomorrow

tomorrow i have to go back to my dad's house for about three weeks. i am dreading it, i was just starting to get some semblance of a routine in my life and now i have to go back to the one person who fucked me up the most. i am tempted to say its not his fault, but it kinda is if he hadn't completely destroyed my trust in men i might be in a relationship by now and according to my crazy doctor, a relationship is the only thing that is gonna make me feel better. i kid you not my doctor told me that i had to find a man and settle down because that is the natural way of things i am going to change doctor as soon as humanly possible. Anyway if i decide to stay with my mum permanently i will have to switch anyway. i haven't cried in so long and now just the idea of going back to my dads kills me, and i feel even worse for feeling like that. i would ask my sister for help but it seems she is falling apart just as much as me. anyway i just have to take a deep breath and get over it cause what else can i do?