conflicting nature

i generally like to think of myself as a person with conviction, a person who believes in certain things. Homophobia is wrong. racism is bad. sexism is bad. charity is good. etc etc. 

but when i say sexism is bad i feel like i am being a hypocrite because i am so sexist. men are better, i feel like a traitor to my sex as i say this. they are stronger, more focused, and make for better friends (less bitchy) and if i was having someone operate on me or fly me in a plane i would want it to be a man. Those women that would disagree with me maybe right but when it comes to their romantic life i know they would agree with me that they want their man to be the strong one in the relationship and especially in bed. obviously that is not universal but i would say it applies to the majority of straight women. 

please don't take these statements to mean that i am destined to become a housewife wiping snot from the noses of my 12 children because that is not what i want. i want to be independent, earn my own money and rely on no one. except i desperately want to be able to rely on someone and have them want to look after me. i am deeply conflicted by that need to be taken care of and the idea that that is pathetic. its the conflict between animal makeup and social convention. 

am i a seriously confused or just normal?