writers Block, or is it Apathy?

why can i never finish a single story i start? perhaps even though writing is the only thing i really want to do i might just have to face the fact that it is not to be.  So what now?

opps i almost forgot

soooo... its been a little while and a lot has happened. Work experience at Penguin was good but perhaps only cause it confirmed for me that is not the part of publishing that i want to be in. 

after that i lived with my dad till late august and now i live with two other girls in east london. 

i work for an international charity now at there British head office. i enjoy it because i love all the crazy people i work with there but i am not finding the job very fulfilling and my brain feels like it is turning to mush, so the sooner i can find something else the better! 

its been a while

so me keeping up with my blog isn't going that well mainly cause i have been living with my dad for the last couple of weeks and life has been stressful. first i arrived in london with plans for a great valentines with a few bf, but then i freaked out (staying true to my MO) and ran for the hills and broke up with him on the morning of my birthday!! despite that i actually had a pretty good day, i went to the cinema, and then to the royal albert hall to see Cirque de solie(can't spell) which was AMAZING.

a couple of days later i had an interview to work at the salvation army. which i got and i will start after my penguin work experience. i have to say i am slightly dubious about working for them. while i think that they do very good work i don't agree with their position on things like homosexuality and abortion and that bugs me, but at the moment with no job and still living at home i can't afford to be picky!

for the last week i have been working for my dad which is so dull you can't imagine but everyone was very nice and i got paid, or will be on monday. my dad also gave me his old phone as he just invested in an iphone. I LOVE having a new phone. 

this weekends is my sisters birthday so we have been going out for lots of drinks and lots of Great Food! last night we went to Les trois garson. it was amazing i had a crab tart for my starter and it was possibly the best thing i have ever eaten.

now i am waiting at my sisters flat for our mum and her bf to arrive, we will open presents and then go out to lunch AGAIN and it will be lovely!! back to dorset tomorrow which i have mixed feelings about cause i can't live at my dads any longer and i also am not looking forward to being bored and lonely in dorset for three weeks before i come back and work at Penguin. 

Penguin Rocks

i definitely got the penguin work experience!!! yay me!

i'm Rubbish

i am so bad about posting lately i used to be quite religious about it now i am slacking off, but i shall try to be better. 

Today things are looking up i got two semi firm offers today, one to work for the salvation army which i am a little skeptical about but i think it would be good experience and i have a friend who works there already and says that the people there are really nice and thinks it would be a great place for me. 

the second possibility is to do some work experience with Penguin which would be really amazing i really enjoyed my last placement in publishing so i would be great to get more experience. 

other than that not alot is going on i got my hair cut today which is nice and even better it hardly looks any different i didn't want to have that much of a change i just needed to get rid of my split ends (damned straighteners)! 

till next time xXx

Weird Day

today got a letter from my doctor telling me that i am fine! 

i know this seems like good news, but it is not, at least not to me. the depression i feel at the moment makes it so hard for me to care about anything and understandably my family are quickly losing patience with me.  i was just so hoping that my doctor would find a hormone imbalance and be able to put it right. but apparently "i'm fine" you would think he hadn't met me.

i was also hoping that once i got the result my family would let it go, their nagging was the only reason i went to the doctor in the first place. but no it just seems to have begun a new phase. god i don't know how much more i can take!!!

My new Gadget

I hope everyone is enjoying the new music that i added to my blog, it did it with a really cool easy to use site, here is the link if you want to add some music to your blog:

 playlist